Excerpts

archetypeangel @ 2009-12-16T19:31:00

2009-12-17T01:31:56Z

so to sum up what happened with my teeth,
Apparently I have high bone density, so it took them twice as long as it should have to get my teeth out, and as a result I swallowed a lot of blood, so when I got in the car afterwards, it was a non stop throw up fest. Don't worry, I didn't throw up in the car, but I did projectile vomit all over the couch. Joe went and got my meds, and I started drinking coke and sprite, which made me feel better. I was really weak though, and every time I stood up I'd get dizzy cuz I hadn't eaten since the night before. Today, I almost passed out this morning from malnutrition, like seriously my hearing went out and I was starting to lose vision, but luckily joe made me a smoothie and I felt better. Than the anesthesia wore off from surgery and my mouth feels horrible. Thank god for Lortab. Oh and I keep having dreams that someone is tugging and drilling at the back of my mouth... I think maybe my body remembers...

archetypeangel @ 2009-12-08T01:22:00

2009-12-08T07:22:57Z

Assassin's creed userpic :3

I think I might be obsessed... just a little. I'm completely fangirling for finals.

Comics: Assassin's creed comic
Illustration: Mistborn book cover, that surprisingly doesn't feature kelsier o.O

yea...

archetypeangel @ 2009-12-04T20:27:00

2009-12-05T02:27:39Z

I've been feeling better lately, my mind's been clearer. maybe it's because I've started working out again. Extra oxygen is always good. My schoolwork has been piling up a little but nothing I can't handle. After dinner tonight I'll be doing a painting, some sketching for two classes and some reading for religions. Nothing too stressful, I'll save that for the weekend. Yet again, I'm going to try to flip my schedule over, but I'm not too concerned with going to bed at 10 and waking up at 6. I just don't want to stay up until 2 again. My family plans are becoming a little clearer. Some of the family will be in Mansura, but I'm still not sure if my parents will. I want to ask Joe if he wants me to stay or not, but it's so hard to get a straight answer out of him sometimes. If he wants me to stay, I want to stay, I can't stand being in Mansura knowing that he's lonely. But if he really doesn't care, I'll be going to mansura, so I really want to get a REAL answer out of him, which could be tricky.

As far as the hat making is going, it's not. I knew this might happen, but I haven't given up yet. I want to make my first hat my Sunday at the latest, and then start making a hat a day until christmas. This is kind of a "shoot for the moon" situation, as I highly doubt I can make a hat a day. Knitting is much much faster than crocheting however, and I crocheted a whole scarf in 3 days last year, so we'll see. I mean I was doing NOTHING but crocheting...

With my semester coming to an end, it's a race to pass my classes, which is embarrassing to say. I guess I haven't quite gotten this online school thing down, but luckily my GPA is still 3.2, thanks to my good grades on campus and shortly after. I can't slip again though, and I think I've figured it out by now. I've figured out the online school game, if you will, which as it turns out is very different than the on campus one. I was always so concerned with producing good work regardless of whether it was late, and that was a mistake. I have classmates who are far worse artists, but who have A's because they play the game, and in the longrun, if I turn things in quickly, I have time to practice techniques on my own, which is more important to me. I feel like I've been given so much information in school and no time to really practice some of it.

My job searching is also non existant. I went downtown and talked to a couple of fine art galleries, but the whole situation is stupid in my opinion. You have to join an artists group and pay 35 bucks a month to hang your work in a gallery, and if it sells, the place takes 20% not to mention you have to put in two shifts a week manning the store without pay. No. Thank. You. That is not the type of work I'm looking for. Freelance? bring it on. Fine art iffy galleries? no. So, disheartened, I went to this little cafe afterwards. It was a meditereanian cafe with gyros and stuff, and they had murals on the wall. Very badly painted murals. I decided to talk to the manager about getting them repainted. I gave him one of my cards (I recently printed out some simple square cards at home with a piece of my art on it) and asked if I could come back with some sketches. He agreed, and seemed very curious. I'll probably go back after holiday. I do feel some pressure to get a restaurant job this month, but I'm reluctant. I don't want something that's more than 2 days a week, and that's a tall order for a place like a restaurant. They usually look for someone to work long hours five days a week, and that's not what I want. I won't know until I try though, and I've thought about taking a job at a different type of place. What if I tried working cashier at a tattoo place, and sold my sketches to them? What I'm really worried about, is the stupidity of pensacola, I guess. I'm worried that I'll walk into a business, offer either my art or my work or whatever, and have them look at me like I'm stupid. I feel like tattoo places are going to laugh at me when I try to sell them sketches, even though it's a good idea. It's kind of how this place opperates. Kind of like how I asked the gallery manager if he was interested in buying paintings, which he just said, "no that's not how it works." I don't think he realizes that he could make much more than 20% profit if he purchases. Whatev.

I think that's it really. I'm getting there, slowly but surely, it's weird to think I could be gone by august...possibly. AH! that's what I forgot to talk about. School prep. yea that's something else I REALLY have to start soon, preperationsn for spring and summer. I need to register and calculate tuition and everything, and then try to find a cosigner. it would be a dream come true if my mom could cosign, but I doubt it. I'm taking out a very, very big loan this time. The biggest one I've ever taken out. If for some reason I can't go to italy, I'll be using the money towards later semesters. If my mom can't cosign, I'll be making a trip to louisiana to visit nana mei, because I have a feeling she can cosign it. There's a lot to take care of, but I have to remind myself that most of the things I have to do are involved with things that make me happy.

plans and promises

2009-12-01T07:06:50Z

I feel nothing but stress. I know tomorrow morning I'll feel differently, but writing this journal is the only way to settle my mind. Buying this car is not something I regret, in fact, I like the car quite a bit, and we NEEDED this car, but I'm getting sick of people poking fun at me for buying a yaris. Especially my little brother. It's making me want to punch his lanky little asian face in. I just don't like already stressing about whether I made a good decision and then having people be like "har har you should have bought a used car" yea well I didn't have time to shop around for 6 months. Also, I got a great deal on this car thank you very much.

Anyway, school is a struggle, a real struggle. I had to beg two of my teachers for extensions tonight because I ran out of time. Right when I'm ready to pick up the pace and prepare for finals, I have to do thanksgiving and deal with the car bullshit, making for a week of little to no homework done. I'm also stressed about looking for a job, but strangely not stressed about pushing my portfolio. To top it off, Chris clemens calls me with his girl trouble again, which I'm getting sick of, because I tell him to brake up with that bitch everytime he calls. He "finally did it" this time but we'll see. I may get another phone call next month. And finally, I asked my parents what was going on for christmas. My mom said they might stay home, and invited me to stay the night christmas eve. I don't like sleeping in my parents house. THey have no concept of a guest room and the couches are about as comfortable as sleeping on a potato. When I said I'd think about making a day trip christmas day my mom sounded offended. Then she said christopher kind of wanted to visit me, and it would be nice for her and dad to have a christmas together. I wasn't against the idea at first, and then I got a flurry of phone calls from christopher saying he really wanted to come and I should rent Grand Turismo from gamestop for him while he's there. Talk about offensive, he's putting me on the spot and making me feel obligated to have him over, and if I'm NOT going to mansura, I'm thinking about having a nice quiet christmas with joe. I'm getting pissed too because my decision to go to mansura is largely based on what my family is doing, and christopher goes on facebook saying "oh I'm going to lauren's house." I'm like, um that's not decided, and shut your fucking mouth so that people who want to go to mansura don't think that I'm not going at all. ARGH! On top of everything, I can't even excel in the one thing I'm supposed to be, a student. Sometimes I feel it was unfair that I started school first, and when Joe joined the navy his life really affected mine. I did make the decision to come down here, but it still sucks. I feel like I'm working 3 times as hard as a regular college student would.

archetypeangel @ 2009-11-28T12:11:00

2009-11-28T18:11:33Z

My thanksgiving went pretty well. I made eggnog, cranberry sauce, a strawberry pie which turned out really well, and joe made his 25 lb turkey with stuffing. The food, as usual, was overwelming, and getting up at 4 the next day for work was a wake up call to the chaos in my stomach. Much like Trudy, I had a hectic black friday, although mine wasn't really that bad, just really busy. Lots of customers, lots of explaining, upselling, handing out brochures, and scarfing down what food I could. I don't have the much money right now, so shopping yesterday was out of the question, however I still walked around to see the deals, I was a little dissapointed at the lack of deals in buckle, and there wasn't a discount at all on the droid phone, not that I would have gotten one. World market had somem really steep price drops though, I was tempted to buy a few things, but decided against it. I was sold however, on this nail care kit by one of the gondala girls. She was really nice and honest (as apposed to just pushing me the product nonstop) and the stuff really works. I've always had these ridges on my nails and I never liked them, but I don't really care about taking care of my nails because it takes time and it's not that important to me, but she had this buffer thing that made my nails look awesome! It's the dead sea company, in case anyone was wondering. Anyway she was trying to push it for like 50 dollars and then said it's 40 for the black friday deal, and I was just gonna walk away until she started haggling with me. So I talked her down to 20, and we made a deal. I looked online later and the stuff does usually go for 40, so I wasn't ripped off, but amazon is selling it for 15. Not too bad considering I bought it in person. I love it too. It comes with this really good smelling body lotion, some "cuticle oil" which I swear makes my nails look cleaner, and the like buffer block thing. I was happy with it.

In other news, joe and I have decided to lease a car, instead of buying one. We'll probably lease a toyota corolla and keep it for a couple of years, and then once I'm out of school and I'm making some money, we'll buy a car. Leasing works out best because we don't have to get a loan, our payments are smaller than buying and maintenance is covered by the company. There IS a limit to how many miles you can put on the car I think, but joe has been emailing back and forth with a local toyota dealer about it, so he knows the deails. I'm glad he's handling it, the last thing I need is something else to worry about. Also, my parents have agreed to help me with my wisdom teeth surgery, which is a great relief. Now I just have to keep up with school for another 3 weeks, and the last big stress is figuring out the spring and summer. I think I'm going to take out a big big loan to cover both spring, and the summer italy trip, and try to get nana mei to cosign. My plan is to touch up my grades to make me look a little better, do a painting for her, call her up and go visit her. Hopefully she'll cosign, because her credit is skyhigh. If I can go to Italy it will be life changing. I'm not exaggerating. I feel like I'm at a standstill with my art and I need something extra to push me to that new level, I think italy is just what I'm looking for, but I'm apprehensive now. I really hope I can go. We'll see.

archetypeangel @ 2009-11-24T22:36:00

2009-11-25T04:36:51Z

Last night I stayed up until 2:30 AM finishing homework for the week, as usual, and this morning I decided I'd do whatever it took to get my schoolwork back on track. I did not expect the mood swings that would follow.

I wanted to go out to a place with WiFi and go to class. I like going out of the house because it feels more like I'm going somewhere to go to class. It's the same reason I don't like working out at home. So I went driving and visited a comic shop before deciding to head to a subway nearby. Then the car started sputtering, and the engine light came on. I looked down and didn't really feel the ping of heart acceleration that can happen when something goes wrong, because it wasn't too long ago that this happened already. I pull over and pop the hood. The car engine looks fine - well fine isn't the word, my car's engine looks like someone poured acid on it and then hit it with a hammer, but for my car it looked normal. I checked the fluids, the oil, everything seemed ok. So it was something else. I've been ignoring the fact that my car has been dying. It's a six year old used Ford Taurus. It's actual age is 8. It's on it's 3rd transmission and it's 2nd engine. The thing operates on life support, metaphorically. Indicators have been failing and I knew this was coming, I knew another problem was creeping up but I still didn't expect it. I sat in the car with the engine exposed and turned off for a while. I think I sat there thinking for a good 30 minutes. Joe and I have a collected wealth of 200 dollars right now, including the remainder of my school money. We spent ourselves broke on thanksgiving. I also am gonna have to fork over 600 bucks to get my wisdom teeth out, which I may need my mom's help on, so bringing this car to a shop was out of the question unless I could get some money. My dad? he'd have to drive over here and it would be the second thing I'm getting help on. We don't have any friends who can unexpectedly drop money on us, and then the real question is, why would I want to fix this car? Every time the car has issues joe and I always jokingly say "we should just get a new one." To which we say no, because it isn't cost effective. However I sat there and thought about it, and it is. Whatever the problem is, and it could just be bad coolant for all I know, I do know that another problem with come up soon. I mean the engine has electrical tape on it...it's bad. So I decided to risk it, I wanted to get the car home, so I turned on the hazards and cruised at 25 until I got on base. I got home somehow, and besides the sputtering now and then, the car didn't have TOO much trouble. I called joe and let him know what happened, and I asked my neighbors to borrow a car for work. I knew we had to get a new car. Joe agreed. We started talking about how we could save money so we could make payments on a car, how we could go about looking for one.
We decided to look at trucks. We find ourselves always needing a utility vehicle, and since we're both moving soon and most likely moving to a more variable terrain, a truck seemed very logical, on top of the fact that they're hardly the gas guzzlers they used to be. I'm not thrilled with the idea of driving in a truck for appearance reasons, but it would be very nice to have. So we're shopping, and asking friends who know more about trucks than we do.
Also, I think I'm going to get a job. I've thought about getting a job for a long time but never did it, but I think it's unavoidable. I won't quit gamestop, I only work 2 days a week there, so it shouldn't be a problem. I only really want 2 days a week at my new place though, which could be tricky. I also want to be a bit daring and create a portfolio of my work and go to businesses that might be interested. I want to speak to tattoo parlors and see if they pay for sketches, I've heard from other artists that it's a great easy way to make money. I don't see any fruition coming of promoting myself here, to be honest, but how can I say that if I haven't really tried.
Currently, I just feel a bit overwhelmed. I want to start working out which I haven't done yet due to transportation issues (not associated with current transportation issues...) and finals are coming up soon. I also have to register for spring and try to figure out if I can go to Italy in the summer, which I REALLY want to. And then there's my Christmas project which I haven't made time for yet, I feel like if I take on more things, I may bog myself down. On the other hand, my activity level has been pretty low lately. Because I really only have to worry about schoolwork, I haven't been doing much throughout the day, so I'll just have to see if more activity will mean more productivity. Oh, and did I mention I have to pay 600 bucks for dental surgery and my mom doesn't know if she can help me? Yea this holiday season is a little rough.

Here's the ideal situation: I keep up with schoolwork and do some freelance for extra money to pay for the new car. Joe and I get a used truck and make payments on it, cutting back on groceries and other things (we just downgraded our Directv as well.) I can doctor my grades and make a visit to Nana May and ask her to cosign a rather big loan (it would cover both spring and summer...) and I know her credit would go through lolz. It also wouldn't hurt if I brought her a painting of some kind so she knows what she's helping with. Oh and of course, it would help if my mom helped me with my dental. If all of that happened, I think I'd be ok. The only real iffy part is freelance. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. Is pensacola really such a dry desert of artistic endeavor? Ugh, I miss Fairfield so much. I mean fuck I sold a random homework assignment for $100 while out there without even trying.

To sum up, after all of this negativity, Thanksgiving is in two days, so what am I thankful for? Well I'm thankful to be with Joe, I know if I had stayed in California I'd wish I had come here. Funny how our brains work. I'm thankful for my house, I really like my house, and I'm thankful for my pets, they're both healthy and happy. I'm thankful that my mom is encouraging, as annoyed as I get at her, there's one thing she's good at, and it's helping me through stress. Maybe that's because she can empathize the most with it. I'm thankful for her insistence to not give up on freelance just yet. My life isn't bad, I just want to take the opportunities given to me, and seeing them inch towards slipping is upsetting.

Bah, tomorrow is another day.

archetypeangel @ 2009-11-19T01:55:00

2009-11-19T07:55:40Z

I haven't decided exactly what it means to eat healthy. My doctor says "calories in calories out" and tells me no sugar and low carbs. Other people say eat things that will keep you full, like bread and pasta, but battling hunger really isn't that much of a problem for me. I can ignore a hungry stomach as long as I'm not craving something very specific, like chocolate. I've heard of diets like the "caveman diet" which sounds pretty sound, but I'm skeptical. Cutting out milk and bread? aren't those things supposed to be healthy? and how is it you call it the paleodiet but you allow oils like olive oil? I don't think people of that period would have made olive oil, or butter. Cheese? MAYBE, but certainly not edible cheese. And on that subject why no milk? it wouldn't surprise me if our ancestor's thought, "Hmm, we produce milk, I bet this goat does too..." It just seems a little flawed in logic, but results don't lie, and I've heard some testimonials to convince. But, I don't feel comfortable following one diet regimen. I feel like every strict diet regime is based on results in certain people, and what I really have to decide, is what will work specifically for me? Let's break it down, what are my guilty pleasures?

I love pasta. Solution? Eat smaller portions and include a healthy side, like a sweet pepper or a side salad, and drink my curbing tea with the meal.

I crave chocolate. Solution? Try eating some almonds and drinking my tea instead, and if I still want it, go for a small dark chocolate square.

I love BIIIG breakfast! Solution? although this isn't a problem, the fried eggs with buttered toast, sausage and chocomilk is. Let's cut the portions, one egg with one piece of bread, some meat isn't bad as long as it's small, and make sure to hydrate before making the meal. Also, always include fruit, and always eat fruit first.

PS: I gotta finish my mood icons, the images are started to not match up so well...

Well, I'm pretty dead tired, I mean it is almost 2 in the morning..... Tomorrow I'll be waking up at 9:30, so I can kind of roll my schedule over a little at a time. Chow.

archetypeangel @ 2009-11-06T23:35:00

2009-11-07T05:36:04Z

daily doodle

archetypeangel @ 2009-10-13T12:37:00

2009-10-13T17:39:06Z

I’m in California. I don’t think it’s quite set in yet, or perhaps I’m just holding back some happiness because I don’t want the crushing blow that will come when I return to Pensacola. It’s just so nice here. Ms. Yvonne’s house definitely adds to that, but it’s not just that. Joe and I went for a walk yesterday. Not only could I walk around despite having asthma trouble, but I got a little light headed from getting too much oxygen. Seriously the dryness of the air is really something I miss. It gives you more stamina, you can walk farther, and consequently, do more. The hills are also a very pleasant reminder of how much I love this place. Right behind my computer is a window that frames these rolling, serene golden hills with little trees scattered over them. I feel like there’s a weight lifted from being here. I really really miss living here. I’m not sure what’s going on today. Yesterday I got some art supplies from a local art store. I actually spent way more money than I wanted to on the supplies, but it was a bulk purchase, and I won’t have to drop that much at once again. Then we ate at Chipotle, which I dearly miss. I forgot how light all the food in California is. It’s so delicious. People think of chipotle and they think of heavy Mexican food but it’s not. I mean yea it’s a burrito place, but I got a rice bowl with chicken and corn and stuff and it was just a light lunch. There are other places I’m looking forward to going while we’re here. Dynasty, which is a Mongolian barbeque, adeburto’s… OMG I can’t wait for that. “California Mexican food” is better than authentic Mexican I’m sorry. It’s awesome. Then there’s benne hanna’s which is still the best hibachi grill I’ve ever been too, much much better than yuki’s. There are places in San Fran too. And you better believe I’m getting some chocolate covered bananas while I’m in the city. None of that half banana crap you get in grocery stores, a whole banana covered in chocolate. Nomnomnom.

So enough about food. You know as I’ve been here the last day and a half I’ve been thinking that I could use this as a starting point. I started to lose it in pcola. I can only stay there so long before I start itching to get away. I’m a little worried that there’s nothing I can do. I didn’t even have to think about it, when I got here, I just automatically became more active. I started doing homework, keeping my room clean, etc… Fairfield and San Fran are just good for me. They bring out the best in me. Pcola… not so much. I want to change that, but what if I can’t? I feel like in Pcola I’m fighting an invisible demon. Like pcola itself is out to mold me into a lazy redneck or something. But there is hope. It’s not that I’m just going back and it’s like “oh well now I’m back in Pcola…” I have exactly one year left when I get back. Come next October, joe and I will be leaving pcola. In fact, I believe come febuary, he’ll be negotiating for orders. It certainly makes things brighter. Anyway, today is module 6 in school, the week before midterms. I’ve gotta go to all my classes and write down everything, including late work. I’ve actually got a lot to do this week, but if I work hard this week, next week will be very easy going, and I want that, since I’ll be in Tahoe come Friday. I don’t want too much work in tahoe. BTW, I’ll take pics and post them!

More later…

archetypeangel @ 2009-10-04T21:38:00

2009-10-05T02:43:38Z

ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm not keeping OneBlanket. I wanted to reinvent myself in some way through my online names, and perhaps I will change my DA name for proffessional reasons, but I think what I really need to change is the constant reinventions. I'm going to stick with ArchetypeAngel. FYI...

So I may start doing my journals as excerpts from my regular journal, which I keep on my computer. This is today's.

Things are getting a little more stressful around the house with the vacation coming soon. It’s going to be like night and day. Tomorrow is going to be complete chaos, I have so much stuff to get done. All the stress is starting to get to me in bad ways, particularly my diet. I do have my sleep schedule under control though. I’m a little worried about school, that’s the main thing. After that my priority is to get the house clean and pay our bills, then it’s just a matter of doing all the little things that don’t really take that much time. I also have to carefully plan my packing. I have a lot I want to bring and I don’t want to take up too much space. I thought about buying another writing book today. I don’t get the addiction, I write so much better on the computer than on paper but I still feel the urge to buy writing books all the time. When I’m stressed I always think, “well if I get a new writing book I’ll be able to get it all out and then I’ll feel better.” It’s weird. The truth is, writing on paper DOESN’T make me feel better at all. Typing is way more rewarding, that’s why I’ve kept the same livejournal for so long. That’s another thing I don’t get. The need to reinvent my livejournal name over and over. Why can’t I be happy looking into my past, even if I don’t particularly like how I was, I want to improve, and how can I do that if I don’t know where I’ve come from? What If I get worse, and reading my current journals becomes a comfort? What if I get better and these journals remind me that I wasn’t always perfect. I feel that no professional will see my livejournal, and ArchetypeAngel is a decent name. I think changing my lj name comes from the same desire as getting a new writing book. One thing I love that I can do now is video record. Doing video journals is such a great way of releaving stress. I can get out all the little things I want to talk through without boring my friends. It’s great. Anyway, let’s get back on topic. Tomorrow I may need the help of some caffeinated tea or something, it won’t be easy. Here’s my list:

- Call airport about valet parking and what I can and cannot bring on the flight

- Talk to joe about car arrangements

- Take car to shop and get light looked at

- Complete all M4 work as follows:

- 1: post in religions discussions

- 2: complete all Comics work

- 3: complete figure study masters assignment

- 4: complete figure study M4 assignment when joe comes home (if I need a model)

- 5: complete exercise for Illustration M4

- 6: if work has been reviewed, complete Illustration M4 shirt

- 7: post in all discussions

- After schoolwork, work on list for trip, doing anything that can be done on Monday. If everything is as done as it’s gonna be, clean the house.

Yea my schoolwork is going to be really tough. I got sick of doing it today, but I did learn that it’s easy for me to focus on just one assignment at a time, so in the future, when I plan out my stuff, I can do one assignment a day, unless I have six or more. Usually I have five and religions discussions, so that should work out. In M5, however, I’ll be doing at least one class a day, if not more, because I don’t want any work to do Sunday or Monday when I arrive in Cali. All in all, my goal is to have the house clean and all my schoolwork handled before the trip. It’s a lot more work than it seems. I just feel like all of this is work, and I really shouldn’t. Everything I’m doing and have to do is because of something I want to do. I want to be an artist, so I’m working hard in school. I want to go to Cali and have a great vacation so I’m trying to get everything taken care of. I love my petws so I’m dog proofing the house, etc… There is nothing that I am doing that I don’t agree with. That’s a good feeling to have. That’s why I don’t get this weight gain thing. I like myself, I mean I genuinely like myself, and overall I’m not that stressed… I don’t know how all these bad habits started. This week I need to take care of things for the trip, and in Cali, I think I can get a great start on my diet. Once I leave, and there’s nothing unusual to worry about, I need to always write down my calorie intake everyday. I think it’s time to break out my planner again. I haven’t had a need for it, I may have thrown it away… I could buy a new one if I wanted, most new planners come with part of the year before. I love having a planner too… I think that would be a better purchase than a writing book. Lists are much easier to keep up with. Tomorrow, I think I’ll get myself some coffee and a new planner from the nex,I think it’ll help right now.Just like this computer has become my center for a lot of things, I do need something on paper, and I think a planner is the best thing I could buy.

K, hopefully joe’s not still sick tomorrow, and I hope I don’t get sick. Time to sleep now. Chow

archetypeangel @ 2009-09-25T23:10:00

2009-09-26T04:11:24Z

I've changed my account. Did you know you have to pay 15 dollars just to change your name? no thank you, I'd rather downgrade. Anyway my new name is oneblanket. I'll be requesting all of my friends again soon.

archetypeangel @ 2009-09-23T20:25:00

2009-09-24T01:33:38Z

My laptop comes tomorrow. I'm really excited. I feel like it marks a new start, like I finally have a good enough computer to organize ... my life basically. There are a lot of things I want to do with the laptop. I'm officially kicking paper journals for good (because I buy too many of them) and doing typed journals, and I may change my username on most of my online forums, I'll post an announcement if that happens. I want tomorrow to be a fresh start. I feel like a new, nice computer is like getting a new work studio. It'll be entirely mine, and I've NEVER had a computer that was mine like this. I'm looking forward to it.

archetypeangel @ 2009-09-21T10:16:00

2009-09-21T15:20:44Z

My classes in one sentence each:

Intro to Painting the figure: draw the human body five million times and you'll be good at it.

Comics: pencil and inking: Use the goddamn blue pencil!

Illustration 2: If you don't treat me like I'm a client paying you 3000 dollars a sketch, I will flunk you faster than you can bullshit your way through preliminary work.

Comparative religions: Christianity is just another religion.

archetypeangel @ 2009-09-17T22:13:00

2009-09-18T04:50:45Z

backstory: so joe and I watch bully beatdown, nitro circus and rob dyrdek's fantasy factory every thursday. Our friend schouten also watches these shows, and one week, he came over and watched the shows with us. We wanted to make it a tradition, but over the next two weeks, schouten didn't come over, much to the irritation of joe. Joe kept saying "schouten you're ruining our tradition!" and this week, this is what happened (schouten is dildo, joe is bobo)

bobobaju: wtf
Dildo | FGNC: sup
bobobaju: you coming tonight?
Dildo | FGNC: no
bobobaju: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRdfX7ut8gw

archetypeangel @ 2009-09-11T10:30:00

2009-09-11T15:35:47Z

new "the fall" icons hooray! This movie is growing on me in a big way. I thought it was decent when I saw it, and it like, laid dorment in the back of my mind. I think I've fallen completely in love with it. I didn't think ANY movie was ever going to replace how I used to feel about gladiator, but this one might. I watched it recently and I have the urge to rewatch it again. The commentary is really good too.

sick

2009-08-26T17:37:20Z

My anniversary was good. We ate at a restaurant and watched a movie and stuff. We really just spent a day together, it was nice. The night before our anniversary, I got sick and threw up. I wasn't sleeping well and I was constantly sleepy, and then after joe went to bed at like 9 pm I woke up all of a sudden and leveled my shaman to 20 and got him a mount. Then last night I was out cold, and woke up feeling pretty good. I brought joe to work and suddenly got a huge headache and stomach ache. I think I'm just sick or something. I'm not working out today which honestly makes me feel a little guilty, but I don't know what else I can do. I feel soooo sleepy and my head is throbbing. I feel like if I try to work out I'll end up making myself more sick. I have work this evening so I don't want to worsen whatever I have. bleh. A PRESENT FROM SOMEONE could make me feel better. *sniff*

archetypeangel @ 2009-08-12T20:15:00

2009-08-13T01:26:44Z

I'll probably keep this short. This morning I called the loan people. My mom's approved, they're running an income verification. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. With my extra expenses this semester and the lack of a cal grant, I was worried I wouldn't be attending. Another semester under the belt. After finding this out, I took sasha to the beach. It was really adorable to see her swim for the first time, although my arms are really torn up. She's a little skiddish, and carrying her out to the water resulted in a full blown freak out. I held on to her though, I didn't want her to panic and go under, so I rode it out until she wore herself out. Then I started helping her swim out and back with the leash. After she was ok with that, I started throwing her ball, and eventually, after much coaxing, she would swim out by herself and swim to me. It was really nice. I came home and got lunch for joe and I. A huge storm came through and we lost power, so we were reading for a while before we scavanged for an early dinner. We're short on food since we get paid friday, and I WAS going to make good use of the stir fry beef, but with no power we had tuna on hot dog buns, chips and dip, and goldfish. It was anything but nutritious haha. Then out of nowhere, joe's nose starting bleeding (he suffers from really bad nosebleeds because his blood vessels in his nose are sensitive) so he took a shower until it stopped. Then he went to work at 6 (weird schedule with him right now) and I decided to go to a coffee shop with Wi-Fi. I really really hope there's power when I get home. Today seems like a good day to revive one of my old stories, or perhaps start a new one. I've been feeling this nagging in the back of my head to start up a story of some kind, I don't have one right now. We'll see. I'm so happy I get to take classes. I'm really looking forward to compartive religion.

In other news, I started Elantris. I'm only about 70 pages in, but it's interesting. Sanderson certainly has a habit of dragging out the beginning of his books. Yes, I understand the situation now, let's move on. It's usually worth it though. I find his characters are much more concrete since he takes to time to establish them fully, so I'll hang in there.

archetypeangel @ 2009-08-11T10:08:00

2009-08-11T15:18:52Z

I'm completely on edge right now. I thought that since I was applying for student loans way earlier than I normally do, that everything would work out great before the start of my semester, but I honestly don't know if I'll even be attending this fall. I need just under 5000 to go to school, because I desperately need a laptop, among the rest of my tuition and my other supplies. I couldn't go through sallie mae because they changed their policy, and I'd have to make monthly payments while still in school. It's not that bad, and I'm considering going through them again next semester, but I didn't this one. I went through PNC, another loan company that is recommended by my school. The process is very painful. First, I applied, and I wasn't approved so I got my mom to cosign, which was a whole song and dance. Then they wanted employment verification from her, so I called her and she emailed her paystub to them. I called them and they were still waiting to get it. It took 2 weeks for them to tell me they never got it. She emailed the pay stub to me, and I emailed it to them. I called them this morning only to find out that they need a paystub from the last two months, and my mom's was too old. Now my mom is already being really bitchy about going through this, and finally she's like "lauren I can't find any of this stuff." Eventually she asks one of her coworkers and apparently they're going to make her a paystub so she can send it. And I'm doing all of this not even knowing if she'll get approved. What if she's denied? I'm fucked if that happens. I start school at the beginning of september, I have no time at all to find someone else. At this point, I'm already concerned that even if I'm approved, I won't get my supplies in time. If I seriously have to skip another semester, I'm going to fucking kill myself. It's bad enough that I can't go on campus, but not even going period. I already waited a year to go to college, and my school is a year longer than most, I don't want to delay this any longer. It's starting to feel like maybe I SHOULD have just joined the military with joe. Christ.

awake

2009-08-07T14:45:08Z

Yesterday was joe's birthday. We didn't do all that much. He couldn't get the day off of work so he was away most of the day. I got up with him and made him breakfast, then I went and got him a book (the sequel to the one he's currently reading,) a boba-fett bobble head, some candy and chocolate and a card. He liked it. His mom's card also came in yesterday so he opened that with everything. It was a nice card with a hemmingway's gift certificate in it. I was very happy about that. I love hemmingways. (fyi, hemmingways is a beach restaraunt based on Ernest Hemingway, with a very cafe like menu - that is lots of bisques and sandwiches and seafood of course. It's absolutely delicious.) I rented him a game from gamestop as well (fight night round 4) but he didn't end up playing it. WoW sucked him in lolz. Then he waited until 7 to tell me what he wanted for dinner. I made him a stir fry which didn't turn out quite right and we watched some TV. All in all it was a good day. I think tomorrow we'll probably go out to dinner or something.

In other news, I bought Elantris but have yet to read it. I read the first page or two and I swear to god the premise to every brandon sanderson novel sounds like an excerpt from one of kelly's stories. Well I guess now it's just kelly's story, now that they're combined. Anyway it makes me laugh. "the shining city with shining people" and "the lord ruler and the colorful nobility with the not so colorful skaa" HMMMMM. Anyway I'll probably start it at some point today.

strange mood

2009-08-02T14:56:47Z

So I finished Hero of Ages. I liked it, although I didn't know quite what to make of the ending at first. I was reading it really late at night, so my mind was a little muddled, but the next day I decided I liked it. Much like the last two books, with all the complaining I did, it came together at the end. Sazed becoming a diety just wouldn't mean the same thing if he hadn't have scrutinized his own faith, and having Elend die to make a statement about the differences in preservation and ruin made sense, but you couldn't have just one of them die really. It made sense for Vin to have nothing to lose after that. Man Elend died in a pretty gruesome way I have to say. He finally became a king figure and he gets decapitated. Harsh. Anyway the end was very biblical in a way, but it was nice. With all of the hopelessness in this book with everyone freaking out, having a utopia at the end seemed fitting. My favorite thing about the ending was Sazed recalling different religions. I really liked Sazed as a scholar, I tend to respect people in real life who have a vast knowledge of something, and the concept of going through his metalminds and bringout out all religions and then mimicking what they described was really cool to me. I appreciated the mention of Kelsier, Vin and Elend as being in heaven, although it wasn't necessary. The end of this book made me realize why people found it obvious that Sanderson was religious. He made a powerful statement about faith, and a valid one. The messege as I took it, was that a religion doesn't have to be real or make sense or even be correct, it just needs to bring happiness and give hope. It also says something about Christianity, which often times doesn't serve the purpose a religion should. Anyway, good series. I'll probably pick up another Sanderson novel today after work.

After I finished the book I realized my problems were still waiting for me. I had completely engrossed myself in this book and did literally nothing but read it from morning to night unless I had to work or eat or something. When I finished it I kind of woke up again, realizing there was stuff I needed to take care of. I'm really stressed about my student loan. Not only am I going through a different company that my school recommended (sallie mae changed their policy a bit, so I didn't want their loan) but I need my mom to cosign it, and I pray she doesn't get turned down. I honestly don't know what I would do. There ARE some other people I could ask, but I feel really guilty asking my grandparents. But I mean, they have the best credit. My grandfather doesn't like cosigning things, and my grandmother, nana mei, is going to slap me silly when she sees my grades. I may have to forge them.... which would make me feel guilty. I'm just worried, this semester is really important and this loan is really important because I need a new computer. Seriously, it's not want, it's NEED.

I've been in a weird mood lately. I go through mood swings with Pensacola, and right now I feel really lethargic, which happens. I call it the gulf coast syndrome, because anytime I came down here to visit or whatever I wouldn't feel like doing anything. It just gets worse if you live here. It's like all motivation is sucked out of you, and you have to fight it off. Maybe it's the humidity, maybe it's sucking your energy out. bleh.

the Well of Ascension

2009-07-22T03:41:38Z

I just finished it today. Joe was a little irritated that I was reading all day, but I felt... odd. This morning I went to my normal doctor's appointment for my back, and I decided to ask him about the pain in my knees. I'd felt it recently and the more I worked out the worse it got. Today I woke up and could barely walk. I wouldn't tell this to joe, I think he perceives pain differently than I do. He'd think I was exaggerating. But it was that painful, so I asked about it. Turns out I have a disorder. It's hereditary, and it's also known as runner's knees. I have weak knees that shift instead of stay tight, so my cartilage moves around and grinds on my bones. the cartilage wears away and that's where the pain is. I need to do certain rehab exercises every day and lay off the running, replacing it with swimming or an upper body cardio. My doctor said that after a year, I could use my legs like a normal person and run regularly, but only after I build up the support muscles in my legs. I mean I can run, just not five times a week like I was. I just felt broken. I try hard to be healthy and then this happens. I feel cursed somehow, and I felt crestfallen. So I didn't want to do anything. I sat in one spot all day and read my book, until it got good. Then I couldn't put it down.

I remember earlier in this book. I kept saying "my god this shit is boring" and "I don't really like elend anymore." I forgive any doubts I had in Sanderson. The end was awesome, to say the least. It was all worth it. The battles, the emotions and the final scene when Elend is burning pewter left me begging for more. I would have one complaint that stands though. One of my favorite characters, Sazed, isn't as interesting as he once was. I preferred him as the mysterious ever supportive steward, a side character that made me as a reader feel very calm when he spoke. He's still Sazed, but now he's way too contemplative. I mean I understand, but I found myself skimming over his parts, barely caring about how he took the loss of Twindyl or whatever her name was. All I cared about were Vin and Elend. I really thought I'd feel empty through this book without Kelsier, because I was thirsty for any part of book one that had kelsier in it, but I found that Vin and Elend together more than make up for it. I like Vin, through her good and bad decisions, and her temper tantrums, I still adored her, and I really like the changes in Elend. I've always had a soft spot for the super good character, and elend is that. I really liked his character development in this book. They aren't exactly relatable to me, but I can see myself and perhaps joe in them sometimes. Like I said, I'm not directly relating, but I think the two characters are just relatable in general. I loved the ending. I don't care what anyone says, I like endings that make sense, and sometimes that makes them predictable. I knew elend would live, I knew vin would do the right thing, but I still loved seeing it happen.

Tomorrow, first thing I'm doing is getting the final book. I really want to see Elend with powers now.

Harry Potter, Bruno and new icons.

2009-07-20T19:38:09Z

I saw HP6 a few days ago. I enjoyed it a lot actually. It's definitely the best of the films. FINALLY they stopped saying "if we don't cram every event from the books in here the fans will freak!" and instead said "let's keep the important bits, and interpret the feeling of the books, rather than the events one after another." It was a good movie. A lot of people really didn't like the focus on relationships but I thought it was fitting. This is a story about a boy, not about a magical world that happens to have a boy in it, if you know what I mean. The effects were really nice and the action was brief, but fitting. Dumbledore's death could have been a little more dramatic, or at least his funeral. I think that feeling may be just the lack of surprise, since I was waiting for it. I'm hoping the last two movies don't dissapoint, since some of my favorite scenes are in there. And please God, I hope they don't listen to the fans and remove the epilogue. They should keep it. Anyway, kudos on that.

Bruno was just ridiculous. Hilarious, but just... if you're going to see it, brace yourself hard. He pushes a lot furthur than he did with Borat. I've always liked his characters and his show. The Ali G movie didn't go that far, it was a reflection of the show. The Borat movie was definitely the show with a little more edge. Bruno however, was WAY over the top in the shock value. There were some really funny parts, some very ingenious pranks and some daring stunts, but come on, was it REALLY necessary to fling someone's penis around and then cgi it so the thing would stop and say "bruno" to the camera? I mean good god I wanted to gouge my eyes out. That bit was part of a show the character wanted to produce, and he was showing it to a focus group. haha they told him his show was worse than cancer. That bit was pretty good. Anyway I'd say it's a rent, and have your remote ready to fast forward.

In other news, my family has gone crazy again. They had some ridiculous fight recently. Let me reveal this story as it was revealed to me:

I've been sleeping for an hour and joe and I both have to get up early for something the next day. My phone is turned off, and christopher calls joe's phone, waking him up, and asks for me. I mutter a "this better be fucking important" as I pick up the phone. Christopher is in histerics, screaming and crying. I emediately think, "Oh shit, someone's hurt." I asked him to tell me what happened. He said he wanted to stay the night at a friends house, dad wouldn't let him, so he freaked out, went upstairs and threw a chair out of his window into the woods. My dad just hears this loud "thump" in the backyard, and as any parent would, he assumes the worst. He runs upstairs and sees christopher up there. "Jesus christ I thought you jumped" he shouts and christopher thinks it's ok to get ANGRY about this. That's when he called me. I was like "ok christopher hang on, let me get this straight. I was sleeping, and you called me crying because you threw a fucking temper tantrum!?" he started to say something, and I asked "what is going on right now?" and he said "I'm pissed at daddy." I started to yell at him and he hung up. So I called my dad and then my mom and talked to them. Apparently christopher was having a full blown mental breakdown. I tried to explain to my mom that because he was 17 and my parents were somewhat strict on him, he's probably losing his mind cuz he's almost an adult now, I mean I remember times when I was his age where I wanted to break something. My mom then explained that they'd been giving him a lot of freedom. He did a few chores in the morning, and then he could go do whatever he wanted later in the day. But when he stayed the night somewhere, he'd stay up all night and pass out when he got home in the morning, so he wouldn't do his chores. Hence why he wasn't allowed to go out again. Now I don't know how much truth I'm getting with any member of my family, but if what they said was true, christopher is just being a spoiled little brat. It's also possible that he's suffering from being around my family. That sounds mean, but my parents have a real way of getting you down and making you feel trapped. It happens a lot when I stay there, and I remember the feeling in high school. Maybe christopher just can't take it anymore, he's almost free, so he's freaking out. It would make sense, but he's got to get his shit together.

So yea. After the puppy (which I'm still in a blaming mood about) and all of this unnecessary drama, I am done with helping my family. Any info I get will be met with a "ok, whatever" instead of a helping piece of advice. They're all crazy.

Other than that bit of drama, things are pretty smooth and steady. I'm starting to prepare for the fall semester, I just turned in the last of my financial aid paperwork, and I'll need to apply for a salli mae loan soon for my new laptop. Then I'll be ALLLL set! That's really the only stress I have right now. Working out and dieting is going pretty smoothly, I just have to keep at it. so yea.

Henry

2009-07-13T05:56:13Z

I was going to post something longer, but I burned a lot of time talking to Christopher on the phone. Henry, my family's new puppy, died friday from chewing on something and choking while nobody was home. It's very sad, but I'm a little angry too. I tried to kindly give my family advice on taking care of their dog, since I'm such an avid Cesar Millan fan. They didn't listen. I'm not saying they're necessarily to blame, this could happen to anyone's dog, especially a new puppy, but why get a puppy when all members of the house hold are very busy, encourage him to chew on things because it's cute, and then leave him outside for 4 hours? I don't really know what to think. I want my family to sit together and think hard and long about whether they should have a dog, and if so, what kind of dog would suite their life, instead of what did happen, which was my mom going to the pound, finding a cute dog and bringing it home. And I know she's completely distraught. However, every time my mom has been depressed about something, she's never learned from the situation, she's only thought of it as a bad situation. I sincerely hope she takes a good long look at herself. I really don't know whether I should be very sad and supportive of my family's loss, or furious. I need to sleep on this, maybe tomorrow I'll formulate a real opinion.

RIP Henry. Not even a year old.

Feeling confined

2009-07-12T17:33:55Z

There were a few things that popped into my head today that I wanted to do. I could work on the mural rough draft, go out by myself to read or write or something, or I could work on the backyard, cutting the grass and such. What I really want to do is get out into nature. There are a few parks here that I haven't been to, there's the zoo, and there's belingrath. I want to go to belingrath honestly, but the drive is a little far and I'm not sure how much it is. I asked joe if he wanted to go somewhere with me, and he said yes, but he's gotta finish something first. I was like ok that's fine, I mean it's only noon. He said he was leveling a friend In WoW to 60 by running the guy through some raids with his level 80. I asked him what level the guy was at. 53. Are you serious? 7 levels? Do you have any idea how long it takes to level once your 50? A while. I don't think we'll end up going. I think joe has this mentality that he'll finish quickly, but I foresee him sitting in front of that computer for 8 hours while the sun goes down. I should think of something to do on my own. I can't go to Belingrath, I just checked the hours and they close at 5. I think I'd rather make that a day trip and do it earlier in the day. So I could go to one of the parks here, but meh, that could be boring if I'm by myself. I mean florida landscape is only so interesting. Argh, this is frustrating. These are times when I really miss california a lot. There are SOOO many places to hike and walk around there. If I wanted to go outside I could climb the hill right by the house, or go down the street and hike up that mountain. Ah sad. I looked online, the only place that looks somewhat interesting is a trail swamp area. The more I lookup what to do the more dissapointed I get. Perhaps today is not the day. I think I'll have to travel to find something interesting here.

UFC 100

2009-07-12T03:01:54Z

Interesting fights. The first was between a Japanese guy from I think Osaka? Wherever. He was fighting a guy from Biloxi, MS which I got a kick out of. The mississippi guy was a little cocky, and they were pretty even throughout the fight. The announcers apparently REALLY wanted Mr. Biloxi to win, cuz their announcing was way biased. The japanese guy took it, which I was really happy about, because you don't see many strict martial artists (this guy was Judo) in the UFC. Right now I'm watching The british guy (bisping) from the UFC reality competition. I've always really liked him, his personality is very likeable, so I'm rooting for him. The announcers are still being ridiculous. I think they're a little too into their american pride. They claimed that because he was british and won the UFC show, the american he's fighting was pissed. I doubt it. Now they're talking about twitter. OMG I think I'd rather watch this on mute. Bisping is landing more, but Henderson (the american) is controlling the fight. Holy FUCK! the american knocked him out cold. Like he was out before he hit the mat. Aw so sad. Oh well, kudos to Henderson, that was a nice shot.

Updates from UFC 100 party. Me, Joe, Scouten, Chiles and hopefully Izzo will get here soon. Fun times.